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“ I become what I see in myself, all that thought suggests to me, I can do; all that thought reveals in me I can become. This should be man’s unshakable faith in himself, because God dwells in him.” Sri Aurobindo |
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The Real Me Ambika Sarkar It is a strange terrain, “ myself.” For long I thought that I had a fixed, chalked out set of characteristics which I could safely call my own. But situations have shaken this illusion, and pleasantly so. I was very attached to the ideal of being a good student. I submitted my work on time, focussed on my studies and never gave my parents and teachers any scope for complaint. I was also an adorer of “ goodness.” I put in my best to be good. For many years, I sailed through without a cloud of disturbance and I was mighty happy in my comfortable niche of sunshine. I had no problems in life and it had no complaints against me. Effort yielded success and goodwill evoked benevolence. But the hour of test presented itself one day and within a short while, a large cloud of grimness pressed heavy all around me. Suddenly everything parted and I was left to draw my own resources. Today the topography of my life has altered dramatically. A fatherless daughter with my mother who is the only one whom I can call my own. When my father demised, I had nothing left to assume, conclude, comment on and about life. I couldn’t see the cause of such an effect if the world is governed by causal laws. An if it is not, then its sheer randomness was perverse. Our family abided by righteousness, by kindness, by generosity, by every rule of goodness and still we had been grown the very target of this Universe’s wrath. But it was then, when I was standing amidst ruin and wrath, that I realized that I was standing on my own. It was then, that my fruitless search for solace outside compelled me to look for strength within. I do not understand the laws of the Universe and I don’t attempt to fight with the unknown powers at work but there is stuff in man, there is a nobility that is worth saving. |
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“ I do not understand the laws of the Universe and I don’t attempt to fight with the unknown powers at work but there is stuff in man, there is a nobility that is worth saving.” |
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MORE OF BY THE WAY |
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